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In small bowl, whisk together ⅓ cup water, red pepper flakes, soy sauce, rice vinegar, cornstarch, and oyster sauce, if using. Make sure cornstarch dissolves.
Line large plate with folded dish towel or two layers paper towels. Place tofu in single layer on towels to drain.
Heat 2 tablespoons oil in 14-inch flat-bottomed wok or large nonstick frying pan over medium-high heat until shimmering. Add tofu in single layer, and season generously with sea salt. Cook 10 minutes, flipping rarely, until golden-brown on at least 2 sides. Be careful. It might splatter. Remove to clean plate.
Place remaining 2 tablespoons oil and eggplant in pan. Season with sea salt and stir-fry 2 minutes until charred in spots. Add garlic and bok choy and cook 30 seconds until fragrant. Add reserved tofu and stir to combine.
Whisk reserved sauce to recombine and dissolve cornstarch; then add to pan. Reduce heat to medium and stir-fry a minute more, until sauce thickens and coats tofu and eggplant. Remove from heat, add cilantro and scallions and toss to combine. Serve immediately on its own or over quinoa.